Bharat Ratna Sanjay Munnabhai Gandhiwaadi Dutt

In a stunning, watershed, landmark, unprecedented, cathartic verdict, Sanjay Dutt (yes, the bollywood god for millions of morons in my country) has been pronounced guilty in the 1993 Mumbai serial blasts case. The holy ganges rises as it collects a mourning nation's tears.

Is this it? I mean, is this the judgement day, when hope in justice and good is finally rewarded? Should I turn into a believer and atone for heresy? Apparently not.

Let us not pause, not even for a moment and think of those blasted souls of 1993. They are dead for good.

What is important, as the whole of our Bollywood teaches us through all forms of media at this poignant moment, is that Sanjay Dutt should immediately be awarded Bharat Ratna for being smart enough to hire lawyers who got an acquittal for the TADA case, on technical grounds. I would go one step ahead and propose that Sanjay be named as the new 'Father of the Nation'. For, what the naked fakir couldn't achieve in his entire life, our Sanjay Gandhiwaadi Dutt has achieved in his Munnabhai-II avatar - the achievement of making loads of money by peddling cheap 'mass' entertainment under the garb of non-violence.

Wait. It is easy for anyone to call Sanjay a drug addicted, heroin peddling, arms dealing, mediocre bollywood actor. (He has in his initial confession accepted all these as true and ofcourse retracted the confession after able advice from his lawyers). But then, it is not Sanjay's fault if people trip over each other and throw money at his movies even if he is working with the Salems of the underworld to entertain Mumbai with some large scale fireworks. Yes, some innocent people die. No one cares for them. You do not need to take my word for it. Look at the newspapers tomorrow.

Excuse me; I need to make advance bookings for Munnabhai Returns.